Sunday, March 22, 2009
11:44:00 PM ●

today is probably one of the worst days of my life.
u thought we were doing so well.
in fact we were and everyone knew that.

but today,
I saw the past coming to life.
I saw the old you.
and you don't know how scared I am.
because the old you bring out the old me.
and I hated that me.
it is definitely worst and more disgusting than how i am today.

we broke and patched so many times in the past one year and half,
and you have always promised me many things.
all I asked for each time is to treat me well forever.
and you always agree without really committing yourself to that promise.
and before you know it,
you're back to the old you in less than one week.

no matter how many times the same promise you come back with,
I always choose to believe and end up getting hurt in the end.

but this time round,
everything felt so damn god damn real.
I swear to god.
I never thought things would be this perfect.
I never told you this cause I was you would be complacent and stop at where you were.
but really, I swear to god, you were my dream guy.
you made me feel like I'm the center of your world and that you wouldn't give me up for the world.:)
you really treated me like a princess.
calling and messaging me at every moment or opportunity you had.
you don't know how lucky I felt.:)
not just the calling and messaging.
you did my dishes, mopped my floor, gave me massages which I refuse to return to you cause i'm just too fucking lazy to move.
and the best part was,
you did many stupid things I demanded for and Ive never told you this,but I'm very happy everytime I demand for breakfast at this time, it'll come on time.
when u demand you reach my house in 15 min, you'd try your best to do it.
and my happiest one was when I demanded for Tao huay at 9am, you really went down to check but sadly it was closed:(

I swear upon my 19 years if living,
this was the kind of bf i always dreamt of having.

however,
for some reason,
for the past few weeks, everything seems to go wrong.
we are fighting over the smallest things again,
we just talk lesser in SMS and on the phone.
and suddenly,
you just feel so distant, so far away
anbut you never knew I felt like this, no I've knew.
this was cause you were too full of yourself and self centered.
it was as if short coming in army was your only problem and no One else matters.
you left me hanging in the road and you said I din care about your feelings,
then what about mine?

the way you ignored me was familiar.
the way you answered was familiar.
you tone was familiar.
you attitude reminds and scares me the most.

so anyway,
I came to a conclusion that the both of us are simply too selfish and self centered that we only want the other party to see to our own problems before seeing the other party's problem. :(
god save us.

I want to be there.

xxxxxx

( Run to the city. )